Caught in the Blaze
by becausethereisonepiece
Summary: "We all have our demons. You just happen to have a hell of a lot more than most people do." A Kotetsu x Barnaby fanfic for angst lovers everywhere.


Barnaby awoke with a start, breathing harshly as unshed tears pricked at the back of his eyes. His head swam with the remnants of a passing dream and a blazing fire.

He flinched as a warm palm was placed against his lower back. "What's wrong Bunny?" A sleepy voice asks after a loud, unrestrained yawn.

_Get away, get away, get away._

Kotetsu. Kotetsu spent the night.

He knew he should have kicked the man out after they had returned to his apartment after a late night call from Apollon Media but for whatever reason the man insisted that he stay, saying something about how his apartment was too far when in reality it was only a fifteen minute drive away at most. He was probably worried about him, not that he had a reason to be. He was fine. Everything was fine.

_I'm fine._

Still, the fact that Kotetsu was here to witness one of his frequent night terrors, no matter how accepting and forgiving the older man appeared to be, didn't sit well with Barnaby.

Barnaby took a deep shuddering breath before letting out a shaky "I'm fine." The blond made a move to stand, almost tripping over his feet as he made his way to the door. "Going on a walk," was all he offered in explanation for his strange behavior.

"A walk? It's three in the morning!" Kotetsu protests, getting up off the living room floor where the pair of heroes had made their bed for the night.

"I'm fine," Barnaby says again, quickly pulling on each of his shoes, not noticing how they were both on the wrong foot.

_Leave me alone._

"You don't look fine to me," Kotetsu replies, grabbing Barnaby's arm just as he was reaching for the door.

"Let me go Kotetsu," Barnaby demands, pulling roughly against the vicelike grip that kept him inside his own apartment.

_Please. Please don't do this._

"I don't think so Bunny," Kotetsu says firmly, keeping ahold of his wayward partner. He can't let Bunny walk around by himself in the middle of the night. Especially not when he's like this. There's no telling what shit he might get himself into in his current state of mind.

"Kotetsu…" Barnaby tries again, hoping against hope that Kotetsu will let him go.

_I'm not fine. _

"No, Bunny."

Barnaby glares down at the floor. Trying to hold back tears. Trying to hold back what he knows is coming. Wishing the earth would swallow him whole.

_He'll hate you._

No.

_No one can fix you. You're too messed up, even for him._

That's not true!

_You don't even love yourself. How can you expect someone else to love you?_

I don't-

_You just hold everyone else back. _

Leave me alone!

_No one wants you._

Stop…

_No one loves you. _

"Stop it. Stop it Stop it. Stop it. Stop it!" And suddenly he's lashing out. Fighting against everything and nothing. Someone's screaming. His throat hurts.

_Get away! _ _Get away!_ _Get away!_

He's crying. He doesn't remember when he started but he is. He probably looks like a goddamn mess. Something's holding on to him. He hits it. Hits it again. It won't let go. "Let go of me!"

_Help me. _

"Let me go. _Please_," he chokes out between sobs. He doesn't resist as his wrists are grabbed and loosely held above his head. He doesn't even flinch as he's all but slammed against the wall.

_Kill me. _

"Barnaby."

_Kotetsu._

His eyes snap open. He doesn't remember ever closing them. Barnaby simply blinks at the other man, clearing tears out of his eyes. His eyes refocus and the first thing he notices is a bruise blooming on the other man's left cheek. Barnaby immediately feels guilt swell up into his throat, making it hard to speak.

"There's my Bunny," Kotetsu murmurs, giving the other man a smile that he most defiantly didn't deserve.

Barnaby simply lets out another choked sob in response.

_He's not mad? He doesn't hate me?_

Kotetsu continues to smile not knowing if he's doing it for himself or doing it for Barnaby's sake. He releases the other man's wrists, watching as they slowly fell back down to the blond's sides.

"You okay?" Kotetsu asks and almost immediately regrets if after seeing the expression on the other man's face.

Barnaby doesn't respond and directs his attention away from Kotetsu's evaluating brown eyes, instead directing his gaze back to the floor.

"Sorry, dumb question," Kotetsu mumbles, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry."

Kotetsu glances toward the other man, startled by the apology. "Hey…" he starts. "It's not your fault. I shouldn't have pushed you to that point. We all have our demons that keep us up at night, you just happen to have more than most people."

"You're not very good at comforting people are you Kotetsu," Barnaby says, stating it as fact rather than a question.

"Hey! I'm trying my best here!" Kotetsu retorts, trying to prevent himself from pouting. "I'll have you know I- Umf!"

The hug catches Kotetsu off guard and he almost falls ass first onto the ground. His back hits the opposite wall, however, and he's barely saved from yet another of his overly stereotypical blunders.

"I know you are. Thank you," Barnaby murmurs, pressing his face into Kotetsu's shoulder as he wraps his arms more tightly around the other man's waist.

Kotetsu chuckles, sending warm vibrations into Barnaby's chest. "You're welcome Bunny," he smiles, nosing his way into his partner's soft, blond hair.

Barnaby smiles as well. Suddenly his chest feels warm. It flares up, seems to burn inside of him but it doesn't hurt. Not in the least bit. He's warm, warmer than he's ever been in his life and he wants more, _needs_ more of that heat. He wants to drown in it. Wants it to fill him up to the brim until he breaks. He wants the heat to engulf his very being. He needs to get closer. Closer still.

_Kotetsu._

"It's hot." Barnaby states, looking up toward the blushing man that has begun rubbing small, tight circles around the small of his back.

_It's like fire. _

"What is?"

"My chest. It's too hot. Too tight," Is all Barnaby offers in way of explanation but Kotetsu seems to understand. He always seems to understand.

_I think I love you. _

"Yeah." Barnaby watches as a huge dopey grin rises to Kotetsu's lips. His heart nearly skips a beat. "Mine too."

_**A/N: Believe it or not this was actually supposed to be a happy, cute fic but it ended up becoming really angsty. Sorry for all the italics. It's a bit excessive really :'D This is actually my first time writing something outside of the One Piece fandom so I hope it turned out okay. Anyway, reviews are always appreciated and thanks for reading! **_


End file.
